Many times, I have heard those with a spiritual lean express concerns about their grief. They worry that their feelings might block or hinder a connection with their loved one in spirit. This fear is understandable, especially considering how often the link between grief and a “lower vibration” is discussed. Such concerns can sometimes lead to people suppressing their sadness and pushing down their grief while focusing intensely on finding ways to connect with their loved one. The desire to connect is completely natural… as is the urge to avoid the raw pain that comes in waves and threatens to overwhelm. Ironically, trying to bypass grief or push it down can itself become a barrier.

There is some truth to the idea that grief may lower your vibration, but this only tells part of the story about the grieving process.

Grief brings a complex range of emotions to the surface… some are easier to understand, while others may be confusing. None of these emotions are inherently good or bad… they are simply human judgments we assign to them. Emotions are valuable indicators of what’s going on within us. Each emotion offers an opportunity for self-awareness as it is processed and, eventually, released. When viewed this way, no feeling brought by grief should be feared or labeled as negative… none need to be pushed away.

For many who have “lost” a loved one, this experience can break them open in ways they never expected. Every belief, every perception of life and our place in it, can shatter and scatter like shards of glass across a tiled floor. Beliefs about God, about life’s purpose, and about the familiar world around us can be shaken to the core. Life feels profoundly changed, and nothing makes sense in the same way anymore. In time, choices are made, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously, as a new life is built on the foundations left behind.

Questions rise to the surface, brought on by grief. Some of these questions may never be answered, and in such cases, acceptance and trust in the unknown become necessary. Other answers may come in time, falling into place like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle as grief evolves. Processing grief can fuel deep spiritual growth and a powerful personal awakening. The loved ones who have passed understand the role that grief plays… they see the bigger picture from their vantage point.

Many factors contribute to raising or lowering our vibration. Grief is only one of them. Love, however, is the biggest one. Meditation, prayer, and spiritual practices with or without a religious element, gratitude, mindfulness, releasing ego-related burdens, helping others, emotional maturity, kindness, and compassion… all of these influence our vibration. Yet grief often receives the most attention when it comes to concerns about vibration and connection. If you’re grieving a loved one in spirit, take a broader view. Think about the strengths you have. What can you enhance or work on in yourself while still honouring your grief? Honouring grief means creating space for it… leaning into it, feeling it, learning from it, and then releasing it.

Grief is a deeply personal and intimate process… just as your relationship with your loved one was and still is. In the short term, grief may indeed lower your vibration, but when honoured and processed as described, any initial lowering can be balanced by practices that help elevate it. In the long term, the healthy processing of grief can raise your vibration. Grief and connection can, and do, coexist.